Reflections on a Year So Far

Saw a competition for blogging, wondered how to begin, an email led the way and voila - here I am. Instead of a diary - time to type when the PC works :-) A virgin blogger begins.
What a New Year, no resolutions accomplished, housework not done, signs of Xmas still everywhere, total chaos - dad collapsed, paramedics rushed him into hospital - it really was living in the moment and runnning on adrenalin! Now he is home, a family under pressure breathe a collective sigh of relief
Wednesday Winter Wonderland, waking up to a silent, still, snowy landscape, Jasper (my doggie) taking tentative tiddly steps in the garden, lone paw prints trailing behind him, birds calling, sounds of scraping tools clearing cars and drives, the day begins. My bank occupational therapy work cancelled (again!) relief (I can stay in the warm and have a duvet day) panic (not enough money to pay the rent) tears (as life makes me slow down and stop) the drama with dad has caught up with me, time to really 'feel' the aftershocks. My bad shoulder that has felt totally unconnected to me begins to release, as the tears flow.
As a yoga teacher and therapist I am only too aware of the power of blocked emotions held within, it has been a revelation to experience this again first hand. My coping strategy - hold it all in my right shoulder! Dived back into bed, curled up in a ball and went with the flow, cold snow mirroring my body and stuck, held emotions.
Thursday thick, slushy start, as my emotions thaw so too does the snow, more movement in my shoulder too :-) Pregnant yoga student texts me she is in labour...so will not make class. I wish I had had more time to prepare her, she never got to too many classes, work and then weather preventing her. Did we cover enough? Sent her positive thoughts and healing. All the mums did too later that night in class, wondering who would be next?
Friday - New moon in Capricorn - time to centre, pray, and meditate long distance with my Sacred Journey friends (Earth Angels) contemplate beginning the year again, refreshed and revitalised.
New Moon = New Beginnings. I spend time giving thanks for the gifts of the year so far, ' an attitude of gratitude' goes along way :-)
Rainy day, the snow and slush have gone, hospital visit with dad. He has to have some kidney tests in nuclear medicine department. He is so much brighter, chirpier, energised and very chatty. Shared time together took me back to being a little girl again - 'daddys girl'. Spending time with him reminiscing is always a revelation, what our parents lived through - they should all write books (or a blog)
Sad to see a little baby crying and having tests, uncomprehending - what a way to begin a life - what a way for dad to be ending his life. After this last year and half of hell with dad and his cancer battle I have decided I wish to go quickly, quietly and with dignity intact!
My pregnant student texts me again, her baby is born a boy :-) tough experience but she 'got in the zone' just as we practised in class :-) Lots of breathing and body awareness, very minimal intervention, shortish labour as labours go and only 38 weeks - excellent - yoga in pregnancy really works! Whenever we have scare with dad and think its the end, a mum from my classes gives birth, the circle of life continues, the only certainty is change - embrace it, hug it, bless it :-)

Saturday quickie - my website is nearly ready to go live and be a 'work in progress' - just like my life really :-) New Moon - New Beginnings continues... Om shanti